The Scars We Bear
by The Forgotten Nobody
Summary: Kieren sees Simon's scar for the first time.


They kiss like it's the last chance they'll ever get. It's clumsy, it's passionate and it's how they always do it. Being dead, many of the nerve cells that should be firing up when their lips touch are nothing more than unresponsive atoms. The only way they can get even a semblance of feeling is to push and push until they can at least pretend. It isn't ideal but it's something and what with the doctors now theorising that PDS sufferers may be slowly reclaiming full life, it's good to get the practice for when they get to do it properly – real life nerves, hormones and all.

Even though he knows Simon can't really feel it, Kieren lightly runs his fingers down Simon's chest, above his jumper until he reaches the end and his hands can slide under to touch cold, firm skin. He feels Simon tense slightly but as he keeps his hands where they are, lightly exploring, he relaxes again and the hands in Kieren's hair tighten and a thigh slides between his legs.

"We should probably go upstairs," Kieren mutters against Simon's lips and Simon makes a grunt of agreement. Even though they're alone, he doesn't particularly want his parents or Jem to stumble in on him and his boyfriend making out. Awkward wouldn't even begin to cover it and though his parents are truly grateful that Simon saved his life, Kieren isn't sure whether they are 100% comfortable with the relationship between them.

Kieren leads Simon upstairs by the hand though they make several stops for Simon to push Kieren against the wall and give him bruising, additive kisses that Kieren knows would make his heart race if he still had a pulse. Eventually, though, they make it inside his room and Kieren falls onto his bed, Simon landing on his elbows above him. It's a small bed, but they make it work.

Hands placed either side of Kieren's head; Simon leans down to return his lips to Kieren's and Kieren's own hands go back to where they were placed against Simon's chest. He drags them upwards, adding more pressure as he goes to ensure Simon can feel it and just as they reach his shoulders, about to go over, Simon jerks back, almost falling off the bed in the process.

"Si?" Kieren questions and Simon's lips press together in a thin line. "Are you ok?"

Simon's hands clench minutely and he looks like he's trying to keep himself under control. Kieren pushes himself up and places a gentle hand on Simon's knee. "What is it?" He asks when Simon still hasn't said anything.

"Just…don't touch my back. Please."

"Why not?"

Simon expression reveals his confliction, like he can't decide whether to tell Kieren or not. Kieren hopes he does; Simon has revealed so little about his past, living and undead, that Kieren will take anything Simon offers him.

"I have…a scar," Simon eventually says. "It's large and it's not pleasant. I don't want you to have to see it."

Kieren is confused. Simon doesn't want him to see his scar? Kieren has his own which Simon accepted with ease, why does he not think Kieren would do the same?

"Show me," Kieren mutters. "Please?"

"It is not some battle wound that deserves praise," Simon argues, subconsciously hunching into himself. "It's ugly and I'm not proud of it."

"I don't care," Kieren states firmly. "I understand if you don't want to but well, I've kind of been dying to see you out of that shirt." He really hopes that didn't come out as awkwardly as it sounded to him.

"I hope not literally." Kieren's pleased to see Simon's mouth tilt upwards slightly, even if there is still some hesitancy evident in his eyes. Slowly, Simon pinches the bottom of his jumper and pulls it upwards, revealing a wide expanse of greyish smooth skin with a few black sparse hairs littering it. Simon removes the jumper fully and Kieren can think only one thing.

Stunning.

He must have said this out loud for Simon gives a self-deprecating grin. "Wait till I turn around."

He does and Kieren sees the long criss-cross of black stitching running up along the Simon's spine. The thick black thread stands out against the pale skin and the area around the material stretched thin. Simon was right, they aren't the nicest, but he doesn't care.

Kieren quietly steps up behind Simon and wraps his arms around his boyfriend's waist, leaning his chin on Simon's shoulder.

"You're beautiful," he tells Simon honestly and a stiffness he hadn't realised Simon was harbouring gradually disappears. "I don't need to know how you got them. I don't care. But you don't need to hide them, not from me."

"Kieren Walker," Simon sighs and arms come around to cover Kieren's. "How did I get so lucky?"

Kieren leans back and presses a kiss on the scar tissue, just above the first black stitch. "In case you didn't know, I'm kissing it," he mutters and Simon huffs a laugh.

"I know, I can feel it." Kieren makes a noise of pleased surprise and so he explains.

"Scar tissue is known to be more sensitive than healthy tissue, it makes sense I would get feeling back there first."

"Oh." Kieren feels a bit like an idiot for not knowing, but he is distracted when Simon turns around and gently takes Kieren's hands in his own. He raises them and looking Kieren in the eye, he presses his lips against each wrist in turn, right over the scars. Unexpected tingles run up his arms at the touch and Kieren gasps. Simon gives him a smile and repeats his ministrations until Kieren can't handle it and frees his wrists so he can put his hands either side of Simon's face and rest their foreheads together. He gives Simon a gentle peck that he knows Simon will barely be able to sense but the sentiment is there all the same.

"Now, how about you join me?" Simon asks at Kieren's confused stare he tugs at Kieren's own shirt. With a grin, Kieren abandons it and they tumble back onto the bed, picking up right where they left off.


End file.
